lying in bed, waiting to feel comfortable is a lot harder to do when you're alone. It takes what seems like forever to trust the dark and total absence of love in the cold air. The mind can only remember previous moments like this, none of which provide comfort.

I wonder if she's actually sound asleep right now. It's 2:10am and I don't feel close to restful peace. I miss her. And do I just miss the lack of company? I cannot deny that I do, but the only person that can ease my soul into a calm, trusting love is her. So it isn't so bad to admit to myself this, and I should be more honest with myself, when my heart allows me.

I either have to move on or hope that she can find what she's looking for in this short time. Yet, life never really allows for the easy way out. So, does that mean I should leave optimism behind and mature away from innocent idealism? Should I realize that life was meant to constantly test your worthieness of being? Well, maybe I'll wait till my thirties to accept that realization and just enjoy the remainder of my young days with the passion of a dying man with nothing to lose but time.

I miss her. I hope that when I close my eyes in this cold room, she'll dream of me with a wisper of the most honest sentiment..."I'll love you forever..."

UFO
8/16/08 02:22